Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? Have one for me. Have two! It’s later than you think!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Pour it on! Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes! Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat!

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother?

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it!

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. Now is the time for long naps! You need to be rested so you can circle the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at the buffet table, like frosted holiday cookies in the shape of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention.

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin, pecan. Have a slice of each! When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards!

10. And the last tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips and start over! Remember, January is just around the corner!


Motto to live by – “Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming “WOO HOO, what a ride!”


Have a very Merry Christmas!!

Christmas Jammies for the kiddos

Every year the kids get matching Christmas jammies... Right now they think it's the coolest thing EVER. But, they're young.

Walker Organizer Pattern and Tutorial

This is so easy! I wanted to post a tutorial... Here it is!!


Materials Needed for 2 organizers:
1 yard of fabric
Thread to match
10 inches of hook and loop tape (SEW-ON!!)


Step 1 - Lay 1 yard of fabric out (the way it comes off of the bolt - do not refold)



Step 2 - Cut fabric lengthwise right down the middle! You'll end up with 2 pieces of fabric doubled over approximately 1 yard long and about 11-12 inches wide, depending on the original length of the fabric.



Step 3 - Right sides together, sew along the edges leaving a 3" opening for turning. Clip corners.



Step 4 - Turn.



Step 5 - Press.



Step 6 - Align hook and loop tape about 9 inches apart. The fuzzy and the loop sides should both be on the SAME side of the fabric. This will be the flap that wraps around the bar. Pin and sew.



Step 7 - Turn fabric over (velcro side DOWN). Fold bottom of fabric up about 16", then fold the top back toward the bottom about 8". Then fold back up toward the top about 3". You're creating the pockets by sandwiching the fabric on top of itself.



The final folded fabric should look similar to this:



Step 8 - Sew the pen pockets into the smallest, top pocket. Sew ONLY into the TOP 2 layers - do NOT sew through entire thickness!! Then sew along side seams through all layers. Be sure the flap at the top is OPEN - you don't want to accidently sew the flap closed!



Give it a final pressing and it's ready to go!!

Facebook

I have joined Facebook... bear with me as I figure it out.

Walker Organizer

We're getting geared up for our Christmas trip to the Nursing Home. Last year a friend gave me a bunch of fabric to make bags and totes for the inmates (and I'm referring to the inmates at the nursing home - NOT prison inmates!... there was some confusion!). This is what I came up with. It's got a large pocket for books or magazines, and a smaller pocket for glasses and pens. The flap folds over a bar of the walker and fastens with velcro for easy removal and washing. I'm quite pleased! The whole thing is fully lined for durability. Thanks goes out to the boy (who is feeling MUCH better) for holding it up for me!

Matching Christmas Jammies

Since we're homebound due to a stomach virus, we had to postpone our plans to mummify the rooster. I decided to sit down and sew something - it's been weeks! These are for our friends. I made some for them last year, and the kids liked them so much, it's going to be a tradition... well, until they're teenagers!

The girl made a pillowcase!

The girl has been bugging me since yesterday to sew something. She found this fantastic fabric stashed way in the back... it's butterflies - and it sparkles! How will she ever be able to fall asleep on such a beautiful pillowcase?! She did a fantastic job. All I did was iron the top seam! Way to go girl!